Women Behind Bars II premieres Tuesday April 7th 10-11pm on WE TV. The series will air every Tuesday

Women are supposed to be the gentler sex, the softer side of humanity. But some women do kill, and when they do, we want to know why. What drove them to kill? Was it an abusive husband? Was it drugs? Was it envy…fear…lust? Back for a second season, this WE tv original series takes us behind the killings to try and answer all of the burning questions of why they did what they did.

I specifically produced episode 11 of the series, which will air later in May, but I did the voice over for the entire series.

Women Behind Bars 2007-2008

I have often been given experiences to dive off the high dive of life. In the moment I say "Yes", I don't often know how deep the water is, but as the saying goes, you either sink of swim. Taking on the role of supervising producer was definitely such an experience. Although I had been a manager of my team at E! for several years, I had never managed an entire staff. To be honest, I felt overwhelmed in the beginning, but I went back to some wonderful advice a dear friend of mine gave me right before I did the Big Ride across the United States. She said, "Ash, just think of it as you're going on a little bike ride. Forget the 3500 miles, just think about a ride around the block." The most basic of advice that transformed my experience of riding my bike across the country also helped me manage, create the teams, the schedules as well as a supportive communication style to deliver 12 episodes of Women Behind Bars. Break it down one thing at a time and all the pieces will fall into place.

The series would follow the format of the highly successful specials Women On Death Row. We would profile two women per hour giving the facts of both sides by allowing the inmates to tell their stories as well as that of the prosecution and or the victim's family. In addition to the interviews, we would use crime scene photos, recreations, local news footage and family photos to bring the cases to life.

I was a little daunted by absorbing the lives of 24 female murderers, but our role was not to judge these woman, but to do everything we could to be fair and objective. Certainly there were moments where I felt the horror in my gut, but I always tried to go back to our mission which was to stay neutral and seek to understand what led these woman to the place where they pulled the trigger.

As we dug into the lives of the 24 women, I noticed astonishing commonalities. In my opinion, none of these ladies just woke up one day and were overcome by the urge to kill. Their life experiences all contributed to that fateful day. These included childhood abuse, dropping out of high school, early marriages, divorce, more abuse, drug addiction and mental illness. And most women fell into several of these life situations. Certainly nothing that happened in the women's past condoned killing, but the fact that so many came from shockingly similar backgrounds was an intense realization.

While I missed being out in the field interviewing the inmates, the cops, and the attorneys, I found tremendous satisfaction in creating an efficient work flow and doing my best to support the staff.

In the end we delivered 12 hours of riveting stories. The series premiered and maintained excellent ratings and became one of the networks most successful shows. This project was most definitely a huge team effort. From the PAs to the producers, to the editors and everyone in between. Although the subject matter was intense, it was the friendships with the staff that connected us all and that will be with me always.

Women On Death Row III - 2007

In July 2007, I left E! for an exciting new challenge – supervising producer for the two hour special – Women on Death Row III and the 12 part series of Women Behind Bars both for WEtv. My job responsibilities would include hiring the staff, creating and overseeing the schedule, supervising scripts, coordinating edits, ensuring notes were implemented and keeping the network happy as well as the rest of the staff. I looked at my job as an air traffic controller – getting the planes in the air, making sure they landed and addressing any crisis that occurred along the way – big or small.

Normally I wouldn't be going out in the field for this position, but when an interview opened up and the producer couldn't be at two prisons at once, I volunteered. I had never visited a prison before or conducted an interview with a inmate. I had covered numerous stories involving crime and murder, but walking the halls and courtyards of a prison would be a first. Many people asked me if I was afraid. I didn't feel fear. I was more fascinated by an aspect of society we see very little of. I cannot imagine being confined to a five by six foot cell or having to ask permission for everything. My job was not to judge the inmates, but to get their story and try to understand their side.

The interviews would take me to Oklahoma where I would interview a husband and wife team who were allegedly hired to kill a former employee who was black mailing his boss. We visited the medium security men's prison and signed in at the office. I had followed the strict list that prevented us from wearing denim or open toed shoes. We had to keep all money and cell phones in the car. The guards went through all of our equipment and then a female guard came out to frisk me. Wow, is all I can say. Every inch of my body was touched and padded down. No contraband found on me!

We did the interview in the reception room. There were some tables and chairs enclosed by steel doors and glass. The main command center was behind the room so guards monitored our every move. After the interview we were granted permission to walk around the prison and see the inmate's cell. We went through bolted door after bolted door and then onto the quad where men of every size lined the benches. I could feel the pent up frustration and aggression as I passed the group. We walked to see his cell which was barren aside for a few books and personal belongings. The stainless steel toilet next to the bed was the ever present reminder that in prison there is no privacy. We then walked through the rest of the yard and to the cafeteria. It was crowded and extremely loud. It felt like at any moment violence could erupt so we turned around after just a minute. On the way out, men whistled at me. I said to the guard I guess that's a compliment, but he said, "Oh, they weren't whistling at you, they were whistling at you the blond audio guy." Damn, if you can't get a whistle at men's prison where can a girl get some attention?

The next day we visited a maximum security women's prison deep in the Oklahoma woods. We walked to the gate where razor wire stretched as far as I could see. The gate buzzed and opened. The grounds were kept flawlessly clean. I even noticed a butterfly, but the vibe was ominous. We went through the security checks again and finally gained entrance.

After the interview we toured the grounds and visited her cell. It was a very different feeling from the men's prison. I asked the guard who was escorting us if there was a lot of violence and he explained that scuffles happened, but it was rare. He said that the women form family groups where they all take on roles of the mom, aunt, child, grandmother and then look out for each other.

Her cell were sparse with the exception of a television she had saved up enough money to purchase from her daily job as an office assistant. The TV set was see through so there was no place to hide any potential weapons. I asked the inmate what were some of the more common rules that were broken. She told me how some inmates made prison wine by saving up their fruit cups, placing the fruit in a bucket, filling the container with water and then putting bread on top and covering it for a couple weeks and voila prison hooch. The PIO said whenever a laundry bucket goes missing they knew there were some intoxicated ladies. The punishment was time in solitary confinement or as she called it, the hole.

Her stories were fascinating though also tragic. As we drove away with the miles of fences and razor wire becoming smaller, I said a prayer of gratitude and enjoyed an authentic beer that evening made by Amstel.

E! True Hollywood Story 2003-2007

In the fall of 2003, I received a call from former professor and friend Gretchen Goldsmith. She was the supervising producer at E! True Hollywood Story and they were looking for segment producers. I was a little skeptical at first as I wasn’t sure if telling the story of Pam Anderson was for me. I came in and interviewed and got the job for a three week stint to finish the Douglas Dynasty.

I came in during the editorial stage of the project, working from 6pm to 2am. I barely knew where the bathroom was much less the edit bays, but once in the dark room, it all came back to me – telling compelling stories.

That three week stint magically morphed into a much longer gig and before I knew it, I was off to Washington D.C. to do interviews for the next show, Arnold and Maria. I was thrilled to dig into the research on the Kennedys and the opportunity to interview Maria Shriver's good friend from childhood, her teachers and work colleagues. They all told fascinating stories leaving me feeling "I can't believe I get paid for this."

The True Hollywood Story of Rock Star Kids sent me on another mind blowing adventure to a small island off of Vancouver to meet Randy and Tal Bachman. Randy Bachman was the guitarist for The Guess Who and Bachman Turner Overdrive, among other great bands. His hits like "Taking Care of Business" was a Canadian anthem. But, getting to Randy and Tal was not quite as simple as a non-stop flight. From Vancouver I made arrangements to take a seaplane to the small island where they lived, but the stormy weather prevented flying. Instead I would have to take a combination of bigger flights and ferries. I dashed to the airport in just enough time to get aboard a flight to Victoria. I grabbed a cab and we sped to the ferry docks as if we were in the Amazing Race. Astonishingly, I got there just as the ferry was about to depart and found my crew. The passage through the great islands was majestic with bald eagles soaring in the skies and killer whales cruising the waters below. After a couple hours, we docked in the sleepy harbor and then headed to Randy's home.

Randy had converted his barn into a state of the art recording facility and made a perfect backdrop for the interview. After telling tales of living the rock star life for some 30 years, he played "Taking Care of Business" with his son and fellow singer Tal. I felt so grateful and just took in every moment as the father son duo jammed. The cameraman literally shed a tear telling me it has always been a dream of his to meet him. As a journalist, it is our job to remain objective, but sometimes there are moments that touch you and you are just human and that was one of those.

After chronicling the lives of rock star kids, we took on a more somber topic of the life of John Ritter. Threes Company had been a mainstay of my teenage years so the opportunity to get to know more about Jack Tripper was awesome. John died of an aortic dissection in September of 2003. His death was a shock and hit his friends, family and the public to the core. In the interviews, his friends and family spoke passionately of John's love of life. There were tears and laughs - John would never be forgotten.

After segment producing for a year and half, I felt ready to take on the role of producer. Finally a position opened up and I was given the chance to step up and go for it. I was assigned to produce the Brooke Shields story. At the time, Tom Cruise had just gone on the Today Show and spoke out against anti-depressants and criticized Brooke for taking them after she was suffering from postpartum depression. The story made headlines around the world and while the country debated the issue, I had the great opportunity to interview both Brooke's doctor and a psychiatrist that worked with her on her book. The interviews were fascinating and gave me deep insight into Brooke's struggles and how she overcame that time in her life. One of the aspects that I love about documentary is the chance to learn something everyday and working on Brooke's story was incredibly eye opening.

Another project that was particularly interesting was a two-hour investigates on lottery winners who lost everything. Many people play the lottery thinking that if only they scored that magic ticket all their problems would be solved. For some winning the lottery does give them a greater freedom, but for others, it just brings on an entire new set of problems. Delving into these existential questions proved fascinating. I traveled to Kentucky, Florida, West Virginia and Texas to meet with family members, and friends who witnessed their loved ones who won millions fall victim to the one thing they thought would fix all their problems. The show was thought provoking on so many levels and a reminder that finding happiness is not as simple as winning the jackpot. The subject clearly struck a nerve, as the show was one of True Hollywood Story's highest rated investigates.

Over the next two years I went on to produce seven more True Hollywood Stories including Sean Diddy Combs, America's Next Top Model and Steven Tyler and Liv Tyler. I continued to learn something every day, improve my writing skills, and gain an in depth knowledge about post production and seeing projects through to final delivery. I made some wonderful friendships during my nearly four years at E! and loved working with my teams, but it was time to move on and gain some new skills and take on new challenges.

The True Story of Black Hawk Down - 2001 - 2002

After completing a Headliners & Legends on Stephen King for MSNBC, I had the amazing opportunity to work on a project people only dream about. The 92 minute History Channel special would chronicle the battle of Mogadishu, a deadly two-day assault involving American Special Forces in Somalia.

I vaguely remembered seeing the bloody events on television in 1993 and now I would be researching every book, every article and getting first hand accounts from Rangers and Delta Force soldiers who bravely fought during the two day stand off.

Dave Keane was spearheading the project. His passion for the subject was admirable. Our first task was to get Dave into Somalia. I recall doing some internet searches for travel and I quickly realized there were no working airports in Mogadishu - even in 1999. We would have to fly him to Kenya and then once there he would have arrange entry into the lawless country.

There was a high risk to Dave's safety and although we joked about kidnapping insurance, it was no laughing matter. Several journalists had been murdered in Mogadishu, but his desire to return to the scene of the events was truly a testament to his commitment to tell both sides of the story.

While Dave prepared for his trip to East Africa, I started trying to track down the soldiers involved in the bloody battle. Delta Force specialize in not being found so my usual tricks were proving futile. Eventually I got a lead on Lee Van Arsdale. He was in charge of the operations in Mogadishu and helped lead a rescue to extract some of the other soldiers taken captive and or who were trapped. Mr. Van Arsdale was one of the nicest men I had ever met and the smartest. He was committed to having the truth be told and eventually agreed to be interviewed. He then led us to other brave men who would eventually interview for the documentary.

When I pre-interviewed some of the men by phone, I was shocked to hear in their confessions that many had never really opened up about what they witnessed or experienced on those infamous days in October. I felt comfort in knowing that perhaps providing a safe place for them to tell their stories would somehow be cathartic.

Meanwhile, Dave and his team safely arrived in Kenya and then secured a spot on a plane carrying the narcotic called Khat into Mogadishu. His fixers paid for a small militia to accompany him and the cameraman. He literally had 4-5 young men carrying automatic machine guns traveling with him and as I recall, some may have been as young 14 years old.

Mogadishu was still ruled by various militias and gangs. Violence was a daily reality and Dave was truly risking his life to get the truth. He found men, women and soldiers who witnessed and fought against the American forces and got their first hand account of what had happened. He walked through corridors where rangers hid out and were dragged through the streets. He also shot hours of haunting footage - there would be no faking it in this amazing project.

I then starting tracking down archive footage. After getting clearance from the American military, I visited a base a couple hours outside of Los Angeles. I filled out pages of paperwork and then started going through the hours of footage. Cameras mounted on Black Hawks or other military planes had recorded some of the brutal images. So often in documentary, it's tough to get the actual footage due to cost, rights and clearances or it just didn't exist, but for this project we were lucky to have true first hand accounts. We debated what we would use. 18 American soldiers died and another 73 were injured. There were an estimated 500 - 2,000 deaths suffered by Somali men and women. Dave had no desire to exploit what had happened so we all tried to be as sensitive as possible given the events.

Dave arrived home safely, but had many stories to tell including a very close call in a soccer stadium with another militia. Over the next month Dave conducted the remaining interviews. One that particularly stood out was with Black Hawk helicopter pilot, Mike Durant. Durant was flying his MH-60A with three other soldiers on board when the helicopter was hit by a rocket propelled grenade causing it to crash to the ground. Two Delta Force snipers bravely held off the ensuing Somalis, but were eventually killed when they ran out of ammunition. The three other Americans on board were also killed. The Somalis captured the badly injured Durant and held him for 11 days. He was eventually freed and continued to fly with the Special Operations Aviation Regiment. His story of bravery and heroism was truly inspiring.

The final documentary was a incredible investigation into the battle of Mogadishu. Dave's interviews with both sides gave the viewer an objective take on those two days. The art direction and recreations were visually stunning. In addition, the archive footage and photos made this special unlike anything I had ever been given the opportunity to work on. Projects like the True Story of Black Hawk Down don't come around every day, I feel very blessed to have been a part of it!

Lucifer's Tale - 1998

After graduating from USC with a Masters in Broadcast Journalism, a professor gave my resume to a colleague who was looking for an associate producer. I interned for Behind the Music for the previous summer and did a lot of production assistant work, so I was thrilled to be moving up to AP. I gave the producer a call and she told me more about the subject: the history of evil and Satan. Hmmm. To be totally honest, I was a little taken aback. I knew I would be immersing myself 110% in the topic and wasn't sure if I wanted to eat breathe and sleep the devil. I was grateful for the opportunity, but I didn't know if this was the right show for me. I mulled it over for a day and decided to go for it despite my concerns.

I met up with the producer Kathleen Phalen the next day. What a gift I was given to have worked with her. She was witty, organized, creative, kind and incredibly smart. The show would delve into the origins of evil and the historical and biblical significance of Satan so this was no world's cutest puppy documentary. Kathleen was like a walking world history textbook and rattled off the Satanic time line the documentary would focus on.

I worked from home and my job entailed tracking down photos and footage, assist with arranging interviews and then help Kathleen with anything else she needed. The pictures and footage part posed a unique challenge given that while the devil was very photogenic, I couldn't just call up one of the photo houses ask for Lucifer. Instead, I immersed myself the art of Blake, Bosch, Delacroix, Bruegel and Goya. Before long, I had a three-inch ring notebook with hundreds and hundreds of demonic images.

The interview list ranged from religious scholars to a local satanist and his coven. We spent the next weekend conducting interviews and filming the groups satanic rituals. I don't know what I was expecting - perhaps something that the media had created, but they were simply a nice group of twenty-somethings who practiced Satanism and were all going to Disneyland the following day. While their beliefs were not for me, the experience reminded me of a valuable lesson to always keep an open mind. Honestly, this was the exact reason I chose documentary - to expand my world view to other ideas, cultures and beliefs and to tell compelling stories.

While my roommate was working at a prestigious law firm and spent 14 hours behind a desk, my days were quite unconventional. Some days I would spend the afternoon at the local occult bookshop researching or another creating a giant pentagram for an interview backdrop. On one occasion, Kathleen called to ask me to track down some goats and a snake for pick up shots for editorial. The following weekend we headed to a farm in Malibu where we shot footage of a very ornery goat head butting the camera. We found the snake at the Venice Boardwalk. I held the camera while Kathleen coaxed the 10 foot beauty towards me. My deathly fear of snakes overcame me at one point and we all had a laugh when I dropped the camera screaming. All in a days work.

The final product was a fascinating investigation of the history and current take on evil. Kathleen gave me some "Sin Away" bubble bath as a good-bye gift. When I took the job, I had no idea what I was in for. I almost let fear hold me back from the experience, but I decided to take the risk and it paid tenfold in experience and friendship with a great mentor.

KABC / KMPC 1995-1997

KABC – 1995 – 1997

I started at KABC working part time on the weekends. My shifts were from 7am to 2pm both Saturday and Sunday. My main duties were to handle the 7 phone lines, ferreting out the good calls from the absurd and then quickly putting the calls up on the screen so the host could take them at will. It was definitely a bit of a juggling act; listening to the show while at the same time going through calls at warp speed.

Call screening is definitely a skill. During my training I was introduced to the many callers who would call 100 times a day to try to get on air. They would often pretend to want to talk about the topic and then once on air will spew something about John Lennon’s killer. Keeping these people off the air was paramount, but after a while, I became pretty adept at recognizing even the most disguised voices. Soon listening to the callers, typing up their questions all the while still keeping up with the show became second nature. I even befriended some regulars.

The weekend shows consisted of lifestyle programming ranging from the Pet Show with Warren Eckstein, to the Cooking Show with Melinda Lee, to the Car Show with Leon Kaplan to the Restaurant Show with Merrill Schindler to Politics with Susan Estrich. While getting to work at 7am was not my first choice, I loved the variety of topics and all the hosts.

I enjoyed every show, but The Pet Show became a favorite. Warren exuded charisma and was incredibly kind. People started calling hours before the the program even started asking to wait on hold hoping to talk to the pet guru. The questions were as wild as the show like, "I sleep with my iguana, my cat and my dog, but my iguana and my wife don't get along." You couldn't make these calls up. I grew up with animals and adored my pets, but Warren taught me a deeper respect that has stayed with me to this day.

Susan was another host I immediately looked up to. She had an amazing resume as the first woman to serve as a campaign manager for a presidential campaign in addition to her courageous work in the law profession. She was incredibly bright, quick, fun and was never too busy to help. She gave me hours of free career advice not mention some great lessons on life.

After I mastered the weekend shifts I started filling in for weekday shows including Michael Jackson, Dennis Prager and Larry Elder. Although I didn't agree with all the views of the hosts, it was exciting to be focusing on the issues of the day. I even got some occasional air time when a host would ask my opinion.

Radio is a tough business and it kind of blew my idealistic mind to see certain practices I only thought existed in movies like Wall Street. I saw numerous talent who had been on air for years be fired and not even get the chance to say goodbye to their listeners. I kept my head down during those moments.

I spent the next 6 months filling in for producers covering every imaginable shift - including the 5am shift which meant I needed to be there by around 3:30am. It was pretty brutal and although you were done by 11am, my body clock didn't take to the odd hours. When not working I would actually put a note on my alarm clock telling me I didn't have to work that day due to waking up countless times panicked I missed my shift. I eventually got used to the odd shifts and fell into a groove. I loved meeting all the guests ranging from prominent political figures to celebrities, reading the books sent by publishers and scouring five newspapers a day for daily items to discuss. This was before the internet so I had my trusty ruler to tear out stories from the various papers. Wow how things have changed.

Finally a full-time producer position opened up on KABC's sister station KMPC and I became the producer of the Joe Crummy and Merrill Markoe show. It was a relief to finally have a regular shift, but after about six months, the station chiefs called us into a meeting to explain that they were turning the station into Radio Disney at 10pm. We were all laid off like that. Such was life in radio. It felt pretty shaken - how could people do that to one another, but I knew it was nothing personal, just business. In those moments we don't always see the why or what we are going to do next. In fact I was quite panicked, but that experience helped me to decide to go back to grad school which would prove to be one of the best experiences in my life.

NBC Page 1995

After graduating from Bucknell, I returned to Souther California faced with the extensional question of what did I want to do with my life. My undergraduate work gave me an excellent liberal arts education, but like so many graduate, I had no idea where I fit in and what my purpose was supposed to be. I had always been interested in the media, but wasn't sure where to start. A good friend of mine sent my resume to her cousin who worked at NBC and I landed my first interview for the position of NBC Page. The duties included giving tours, seating audiences for various shows and hustling to get as many informational interviews with the higher ups as possible. She said if accepted, I would join a prestigious fraternity including Willard Scott, Ted Koppel, Regis Philibin, Steve Allen, Marcy Carsey, Kate Jackson and Michael Eisner. I got the job and was told to report to the page office where I would get my uniform. Thankfully, I had managed to avoid the embarrassing jobs in high school that required a gaudy outfit, so this was a bit of payback. The uniform consisted of a polyester gray skirt, polyester blue blazer, white oxford, red clip-on tie and black tights. I sort of looked like a stewardess from the 1950s in far less breathable fabrics. And by the way, it was August in Burbank which meant daily temperatures around 100 degrees. But I was thankful to have a job and wore my page uniform proudly.

Over the next two weeks my page group of 16 were rigorously trained in all things NBC, the history, the trivia, the tours and the shows. We were then tested and had to memorize and perform the tour for the head page. I was certainly excited to be there, but some of my fellow pages were fanatical - planning their meteoric rise to run the town. I tried not to take myself too seriously, after all, I was wearing polyester.

Typically, we would be assigned to give tours in the morning then seat the audiences in the afternoon to evenings. Tours consisted of visiting sets from One Life to Live, The Tonight Show or any other show that happened to be taping at the time. There was a lot of walking backwards through warehouses to show off props or left over game show set decorations. While it never happened to me, we were trained in CPR in case a person passed out after seeing Deidra Hall from One Life to Live. We also carried these great walkie-talkies to report back to “base” (page office) in case of some overly excited fan bolted after seeing one of the local news anchors. The final stop on the tour took members to The Tonight Show studio where people gasped at how small it actually was, but at the same time there was always a collective sense of wonderment.

Answering the exact same questions like, “Did I know Jennifer Anniston? And what time did the 10:30 tour leave over and over again could be monotonous, but I was on the NBC lot, and everyday I could walk into a studio where the great Johnny Carson used to run his show.

By 2pm we started prepping for the taping of The Tonight Show. There were various posts that ranged from overseeing the greenroom (awesome) to walking up and down the lines outside announcing no cameras or guns are allowed inside 100 times (sucked). The best spots were typically commanded by the head page, but once everyone was seated, most of us were able to watch the show. The Tonight Show is an ideal show to attend because it’s live to tape and it would typically only take no more than an hour and half. Sitcoms on the other hand could take as long as five or six hours.

After five months of giving tours, seating audiences and selling ER and Seinfeld coffee mugs in the gift shop, my page days were coming to an end. I didn’t have the same devotion to television as some of my fellow Pagers. Honestly, I would have probably lost a "Page Off." I cared about my job, but I wanted something more that dealt with the issues. I sent my resume to KABC Talk Radio and scored an interview and got the job as a call screener. The program director asked me why I thought I got job. I naively said, White House Intern, college education perhaps? “No,” he said, “My ex girlfriend was an NBC Page.” True story.

White House Intern - 1995

In January 1995 I walked in to the Old Executive Office building, the administrative offices of the White House, to start my internship. A lot of cool things had happened in my life, but this was pretty big. I was going to be interning in some small way for President Clinton. I was definitely under no assumptions that I would be doing much more than answering the phone, but hey, I would saying "White House, how can I help you." This was far better than saying, "Kinkos, how can I help you." Or for than matter teaching tennis which I had done the previous summer.

After filling out pages and pages of background checks for the secret service I was cleared to start. I had no idea what department I would report to, but I hoped it would be something like the Department of the Interior, or Department of Women’s Issues (if one existed). I was there to make a change even if it was just answering phones. Ironically, I was assigned to the place I felt least qualified for – The Social Office. The office was headed by the Social Secretary and reported to Hillary Clinton. They planned events ranging from the President’s birthday to state dinners for 500 guests and everything in between.

Although the job sounded “fun,” I didn’t come to Washington for fun. I wanted to understand more about public policy and see change happen 

before my eyes. I really didn’t see how party planning would further my political education. However, there was one huge advantage to this post – the offices were located in the east wing of the actual White House. So while most of my fellow interns were ushered to their offices in the Old Executive Office Building where the majority of business is conducted, I was given what they called a hard pass and granted access to the White House. Of course I couldn’t waltz into the Oval Office, but I could walk many of the same halls where the cabinet officials walked. We were, however, instructed to be very careful of what we discussed outside of the office. Anything we saw or heard was 100% off limits and grounds for immediate termination. They told us there were eyes and ears all over Washington and there was zero tolerance for any talking out of school.
Even on that first day when I walked up to my quarter cubicle I shared with other Brooks Brother wearing overachievers, I could literally feel the power pulsating. Regardless of one’s politics, it was truly fascinating and I knew I had to take advantage of every moment.
Like I assumed, much of my job consisted of answering the non-stop ringing phones, responding to requests for relatives of Senators for private tours, or taking RSVPs to the ladies congressional breakfasts. Then there were the many people constantly angling for invites to the various dinners or the big Easter Egg Roll that was coming in Spring. I later worked as a call screener in talk radio, but I think doing shifts on the White House phones prepared me for anything.

I learned early that just showing up and not being annoying gets you so far in this world. Once I figured out the phone routine, I had to be able to offer something bigger and better. As soon I learned the layout of the residence, I started volunteering to run errands. As long as I had that manila envelope that could be carrying military secrets but was most likely the salmon recipe that was to be served for Hillary’s brunch, I could explore. I took the long way to the West Wing checking out the map room where Franklin D. Roosevelt used as the situation room to follow the course of World War II. The china room was another fascinating detour where past presidents displayed their growing collection of White House china. Most of the time I would be scurrying through the downstairs corridor, and I would just stop dead in my tracks to look at all the portraits of the First Ladies. Literally everywhere you looked you could feel the history. 

On one occasion I was walking those halls and the President was coming towards me in the other direction. I was immediately stopped by the Secret Service and told very sternly to wait. I could hear the President talking to one of his advisors. The tone was one of urgency so I stared down at the carpet and didn’t move a muscle until I was given the okay to continue. You don’t mess with that Secret Service.

The time of my internship came at a precipitous point for the Clintons. This was soon after control of both the House and Senate were taken over by the Republicans, dubbed by many as the Republican Revolution. That January when Congress reconvened, Newt Gingrich, who was credited with the takeover, was elected Speaker of the House. The mood was tense. First Lady Hillary Clinton was also still trying to find her way. Although her health care initiative was shot down, she was certainly not out. There was a deep respect for her amongst her staff and everyone knew of her great potential separate from her husband.

Another incident that added to the uncertainty happened just a few weeks before I arrived. there were four shots fired at the residence. Although no was hurt, they never caught the shooter and everyone seemed to be on high alert - so much so that you knew you were being watched at all times. I remember going down to get some lunch when the swat teams would be changing shifts. Again, I just stood motionless as men in total combat attire raced through the hallways to their posts. Just in case you forgot where you were, that was certainly a reminder.
Once my supervisors deemed me proficient enough to handle the phones and run errands, and agreed I wasn’t going to do something totally inappropriate, I was invited to attend some of the events. While I would hardly call myself a social butterfly, this was incredibly exciting! Mostly I was to stay out of the way, assist guests when they arrived and walk around the quarters to make sure everything was going smoothly.

At one of the events while members of Congress and other VIPs walked around grazing on appetizers and cocktails, I noticed a lanky teenager dressed in sneakers waiting for her mom to finish up. It was Chelsea. My heart really went out to her and the amount of pressure she must have felt. It sucks being a teenager and I can only imagine coming of age in the White House.
Over the next five weeks, there was a State Dinner, Hillary Clinton’s 25th college reunion from Wellesley, donor breakfasts and cocktail parties. People called everyday for Easter Egg Roll tickets and I met both the President and the First Lady.

On my last day, my supervisors took me to lunch in the White House Staff Mess which I guess can be described as the presidential restaurant and catering service. As interns we weren’t allowed to eat there except when invited by higher-level personnel. I know it’s a cliché, but it was incredibly surreal. After lunch, the Social Secretary invited me to her office. She thanked me for my service and said the President was always looking for people to join his campaign and asked me to submit my resume. I was completed floored and put together my first official resume. I left Washington the next day to head back to Bucknell University to finish my senior year. The campaign never called, but there were other experiences in store for me in California. Another intern named Monica Lewinsky started her internship three months after I finished my term. Funny how life happens.